During the last week, I have noticed an unusually high number of advertisements for dating services. Television commercials, banners on websites, even on the radio. The fact that people don’t want to be alone is not surprising, for even God after forming man recognized the intrinsic need for a mate. However I have also noticed something else relating to all this. Something deeper than anything a dating service could ever provide, and something that the LORD has known about since the very beginning.

I have talked to a number of people who have expressed to me their desire to find “that special someone”. Now there is nothing wrong with this. God created man and woman to be together and to love each other and be married. It is by divine order and creation that such things are made to be.

However it becomes error, it becomes dangerous, when the search for another person becomes a replacement for something that only God can give.

In my discussions with people, some have admitted to me that they are looking to another person to try and fill the void in their life, a void that can only be filled by Christ. The danger here is that even if they were to find another person, they would ultimately discover that the void would remain; because it was never meant to be filled by anything except God Himself.

Now there are some married couples who are already thinking “James, this message has nothing to do with me. Great we get to leave early today.” But listen, let me tell you that this is just as true for married couples as it is for those who are single or dating. Whenever you look to another person to fill a role or a void in your life that only God can fill, you end up placing so much stress on your partner that both of you will burn out…  physically, emotionally and spiritually.

To help you understand what I am saying, you must understand that there are three basic types of love. Remember that we are made in God’s image, as well as His likeness. God is a trinity, three-in-one, and so too are we. So we have three types of love:

Number one, we have physical love, this is the basic physical attraction. There is nothing wrong with this. There are some people who do not fix themselves up and think that it is shallow if someone does not love them even though they have not bathed in a month! But the Bible does not condemn physical beauty, in-fact there is an entire book of the Bible the “Song of Solomon” which celebrates the physical attraction of a man and woman.

Number two, we have what is called soul love, or inner love of mind and emotions. It is possible to love someone even when you are not physically attracted to them. This is more of a friendship or family type of love, but equally important. When you become familiar with a person and miss their company when they are away.

Number three, we have spiritual love. This is the one that only God can give. This is what gives you the true inner-peace, and what you can feed off of for strength and security. Having a real relationship with your Father in Heaven, which can give rest to your spirit.

The first two of these can be fulfilled by human companionship, but the third can only be satisfied by God through Jesus Christ.

I have watched people foolishly enter into relationships that were doomed from the start, all in search of this spiritual love; thinking that all they needed to do was find their “soul-mate”. Yet what they really needed to find was their “spirit-mate” and that, my friends, is Jesus Christ.

Some of you might be thinking: “Jesus died for our sins but did He die to help our loneliness?” Yes!

Psalm 88, which is one of the Messianic Psalms, expressing the sufferings of Jesus on the cross, depicts a picture of Christ, broken and alone, Psalm 88:18 reads:

Lover and friend have you put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness.”

He suffered all loneliness for your sake. He purchased for your the spiritual love which truly satisfies.

Every relationship, and every marriage which only has the first two kinds of love without the third component of Christ will crumble. Look to the cross of Christ my friends, the horizontal bar which stretches across is only held in place by the vertical bar which stretches to Heaven.

The relationship with our Father God through Jesus Christ is the support beam for every relationship between our fellow man.; and it was bought by Christ for us to have.

Look to Him, and find your deeper need satisfied.

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